The Agency That Sets The Marketing Bar
& Continues To Raise It

Eugene isn’t your typical guy.

He’s well respected in the fashion game.

In fact, he has 733 Instagram followers, despite him just posting pictures of himself in turtlenecks.

Hoping to launch his own couture turtleneck line, Eugene wants to eventually make a name for himself with an accompanying fanny pack launch.

Where does he get his inspiration? He won’t tell us.

But we have our suspicions.

Founder of Hot Stone Massage, Inc (aka HSM), Stone spends 37% of his working day simply rubbing people at the office.

And as we thought he couldn’t be more entrepreneurial, he secures an influencer deal with Pantene.

He’s deathly afraid of confetti though.

Megan is really good at live tweeting during award shows.

Despite having the same follower count as Yasmine, Megan still continues to impress her mom who’s quickly ready with liking anything she tweets.

Where did she get the confidence from, you ask?

At the bottom of all her spicy happy hour margaritas.

With a first name that was popular in the 1920s, Susy doesn’t let the haters stop her.

Bordering her 5th diagnosis of skin cancer because of her unhealthy love of the outdoors, Susy is surprisingly not a Patagonia rewards member.

But wanna know what is surprising about her?

Her felt hat shopping obsession started the global cardboard shortage.

Despite being the “4th Jonathan” at the office, Mr. Brambles sports an infectious optimism.

But put him around things with wheels that make noise, and he becomes the most annoying person on Earth.

When he’s not spamming inboxes, you’ll find him at Sharkeez slinging unlimited mimosas.

He keeps inviting us, but no one wants to go.

Dalton has hit some rough patches lately.

– Kid’s birthday parties that he used to DJ for have been shut down due to COVID-19.
– He paid $120 for a $24 box of Omaha Steaks (without any potato gratin).
– Stone stopped giving free Pantene Pro-V samples to him.

And to top it all off, his GoFundMe was featured on RuinMyWeek.com, only to be beat by the girl trying to raise money to remove her forehead tattoo.

#PrayersUp

Nicky enjoys suffering.

Being from New York, she’s a fan of the Giants, Yankees, & the Knicks.

While watching her teams lose, she enjoys bowls of ice cream despite being lactose intolerant.

So she asks us: “Who decided that once you hit 30, everything delicious gives you heartburn?”

Jenn once planned our Christmas party on a boat, later to pass out at 6:32 PM on a chair due to intoxication.

Of course we took a picture of that (which we can’t find) and had the entire company sign a “Get Well Soon” card the next day.

We should be nice to her though.

It’s not easy being a previous Green Bay Packers linebacker who retired and joined KB because of a knee injury.

Elya wants to play two truths and a lie with you:

1) Elya once made a batch of lemonade with fresh lemons from Will Ferrell’s garden.
2) Elya was once hit by a car going 45 MPH, flipped in the air, and nailed a perfect landing (no scratches).
3) Elya once had to survive in the streets of Berlin.

Which one is the lie?

You’ll find the answer here.

Marcelle says she’s been to 19 different countries (inside the game of Grand Theft Auto).

Or did she hallucinate those travels while being high at Lightning in a Bottle?

Wrong person, that was Aaron.

Real talk though – hang with Marcelle for 10 minutes and you’ll have a new best friend (and less fries).

Nick is from New Jersey and he’s Italian which means he’s definitely not not connected to the mob.

He pronounces coffee like “cawfee”. Which isn’t cool but very much a thing.

Impressed?

You shouldn’t be.

This guy owns 21 fleece Patagonia pullovers that are all identical.

If having a stroke trying to pronounce her last name wasn’t enough, you should try high-fiving her small sausage fingers.

For every object she sees, she immediately asks herself if she can wear it on her head.

No Alexis, monitors are not headware.

Think she has something  good to offer? Don’t hold your breath.

Poor eyesight, bargain shopping, and The Office references is all you’ll get from Alexis.

When John isn’t name dropping or educating you on the finer things in life, you can find him telling you about the time he met Bone Thugs-N-Harmony backstage.

Even though he’s never eaten at Long John Silvers, you can be sure he knows his WW1 battle strategies.

But don’t let the cuteness fool you.

As soon as you start liking him, he’ll mention someone else he knows, and the circle of despair continues.

Kyle is your typical, basic white dude

We mean, his name is Kyle, c’mon now.

Loves “ice cold IPA’s, weekend golf, fantasy football”

Enough with your bulls***, Kyle.

Tell the world about your OnlyFans page.

For someone who bungee jumped with Zac Efron, Kim is surprisingly late when it comes to drinking beers.

For her 3 year KB’versary, Johnathan asked the team if they should get a keg.

Soon thereafter, Kim became a proud keg stand’er.

Now her favorite days are when we play RAGE CAGE at the office.

Katie’s the kind of friend who you start watching a TV show with.

You find out it’s such a great show and you literally can’t wait to watch the next episode together.

Then Katie comes over one day, and she tells you… That’s she’s been watching episodes ahead of you.

That’s Katie.

A friend you no longer want to be friends with.

Suffering from too much success, Reese is the world’s leading archivist of DJ Khaled Snapchat screenshots.

Want him to do something for you?

Just add the word, “Wagyu” next to it.

Don’t believe us? Then look at this.

We asked Michelle to list out three of her weaknesses. This is what she told us:

1) “I don’t know how to handle attention/any form of the spotlight well – things get weird and I get twitchy”
2) “Filling out administrative paperwork (taxes, forms, everything); they’re tacky and I hate it”
3) “Math ‘cause f**k math‘ ”
4) “Carbs. That’s 4 things, but hey, I’m not the best at math”

Ever seen a guy smile while farting? Now you have.

As a recent graduate from Monchong University in Cell Block D, Beavis collects A LOT of denim clothing (more denim than you’d think).

How does he do it? He gives credit to his coleslaw addiction.

Maybe that’s why he has gas issues?

Before Mario joined the KlientBoost team, he asked a very important question that we were unsure of how to answer.
The conversation went something like this:

Mario: So the pay, benefits, and perks are cool and all, but can I make butts?

KlientBoost: Uhhhh… what do you mean by, butts?

Mario: Like, booty cheeks. Gluteus maximus, tush, you know, this thing.. (he then stands up on Zoom and turns around)

KlientBoost: Ahhhh… Thanks for the demonstration. We guess so?

Mario: Rad, I’m in.

And since then, he has produced some unique posteriors for us that you can find here, here, here, here, and here.

When Jordan was ten years old, her tooth got knocked out while playing soccer – coach still made her play the rest of the game (swag).

She says her name is Jordan “Kaatz” because she’s always ready to “pounce”.

After she told us that, we were like.

We had to give her a subscription to Ancestry.com to show her family tree and explain how last names work.

Ari is incredibly suspicious.

From his first Zoom interview, we weren’t sure what to make of the white powder right underneath his left nostril.

He told it was just “rock”, and then one time he called it “nose candy”. Our suspicions grew even more after we saw the rope on his back wall.

We later found out that, no, Ari doesn’t run a sex dungeon in downtown Raleigh, but instead enjoys climbing some good ol’ rocks (phew).

Pronounced “Lay-Low”, Layla enjoys doing the exact opposite.

Within 7 seconds of meeting her you’ll know a few things:
1) She’s Dutch
2) She’s good at skiing
3) She’s Dutch

Is there more to her than that?

We doubt it.

But she keeps trying to add shrooms to her charcuterie boards so she can take us to Illenium concerts.

Laura has been to over 100 Avril Lavigne concerts (here she is with Avril). And skates all over the place today.

Are kick flips and ollies helpful when it comes to marketing? Of course they are.

Because what’s more important – ROI or street cred?

Street cred.

For someone who competes nationwide in armored MMA, Nick is incredibly sweet.

You wouldn’t think that someone teaching a medieval swordsmanship class also knows how to give the best hugs, but that’s Nick.

What else can we tell you about him?

Confetti is his achilles heel.

Two for flinching, Loomis.

Give Tori a subscription to anything viewable and you’ll be sure to:
1) Never see her again
2) Hear about what she saw
3) Watch the next episode with her

Known for her sub-par cooking skills, Tori attempts to channel her inner KlientBoost legend skills of Guy Fieri.

If you ask her how anything tastes, she instantly (and in a disappointing way) responds with this GIF.

We asked Daniel to give us ideas for his bio.

But after sounding like everyone else, we decided to scrap it and spice things up.

Two truths & a lie:
– Birds make him feel vulnerable
– He sleeps in a thong
– He never showers, only bathes

Which one is the lie?

Ashley starred in Audi’s holiday social media campaigns once. They called her the “talent”.

We have to agree – just look at that pose.

Those hands are the equivalent of “Blue Steel”

But you know what’s really cool? Our confetti makes her happier than Audi’s confetti.

All of Mitch’s personality is in a beer bottle.

Just how Moose is partially made of olive oil, 57% of Mitch’s DNA is yeast, crying in the shower, and a sprinkle of insomnia.

How is he still effective at his job?

He got everyone addicted to say “Beep Boop” at the office & now we can’t stop.

P.S. His mom thinks Johnathan is cute.

Emil’s the weird type of person that just falls asleep in weird places and hopes to wake up with a new tattoo.

That’s how he said he got his pineapple tattoo in Nicaragua and fruit family sleeve in Japan.

Do we believe him?

Yes, because he also shares the same lower back tattoo with his mom.

Kelvin isn’t the hero KB deserves, but the hero KB needs.

Hired solely for the fact that he once saved a girl’s life while lifeguarding at Raging Waters, Kelvin can now help Tyler stay safe the next time he goes puddle swimming.

Does anyone know where Kelvin truly is? No.

He may be at a pool near you.

Shawn isn’t your typical creative person.

He got his start in the marketing world through his unhealthy relationship with Diet Coke.

Showering is only part of the problem.

Anyways, he’s pretty chill.

Like’s flannel and wearing hats.

Blessed to be a yoga poser, Ellen feels supreme by looking down on less flexible humans.

Her favorite thing is to diss a colleague on Slack, followed by an immediate power nap.

Is there anything more powerful to do?

We asked the same thing, and the answer is no.

Don’t f*** with Ellen and she may share her favorite ASMR video with you.

Being 42 years old, Melissa still drinks hot chocolate like it’s her job (double fisting).

Maybe that’s why she had to get all 10 teeth pulled at once?

Cavities obviously didn’t teach her anything.

What else?

Oh! She wears heels when going to McDonald’s.

Casey’s the kind of psycho that honks at other cars for fun.

Being the leader of KlientBoost’s Boy Band, BoostyBoyz, Casey has a hard time escaping the limelight.

Does he want to escape it?

No, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to convince you to eat a rock.

Luke wishes he was French.

Maybe that’s because he grew up next to a prison (where Grant & Beavis were located).

Running the immensely popular Instagram account, Garlic Bread Squad, Luke’s sleeps best with his stuffed teddy bear.

We still haven’t told him garlic bread originated in Italy, and not France. Help us keep it a secret, k?

Growing up in the poor streets of the Czech Republic, Shelby came to the US determined to be a pro baller.

She quickly found out that ball isn’t life, but instead that Czech meatballs are.

Now that hoops dreams are off the table, she tells us that she aspires to have as much drip as an A$AP Rocky Babushka.

But we hate to tell her that her salary might only allow her to look like a true babushka (with no dental insurance either. Gotta stay on brand).

As the only person without health insurance at the office, Sara is proud that she has never run a mile.

We’ll never know if she qualifies.

So instead, we bubble wrap her on the daily and fill her up with unlimited orders of spaghetti from DoorDash (live feed of her current order).

Is it a good use of our resources? Yes.

You’ve never met a more American person than Courtney.

She got her first boyfriend using the pick up line: “On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?“

And if driving with the top off your Jeep, blasting Taylor Swift, and eating Freedom Fries doesn’t immediately make you want to pet your bald eagle, then can you really call yourself a patriot?

Also, her shower curtain is the Declaration of Independence.

Tiffany doesn’t give a f*** about what you think.

Not happy with the designs? Does it look like she cares?
Got a request? She’s already celebrating happy hour.

How is she such a bad ass?

We think it has something to do with 60% of her body not being water, but La Croix instead.

Pamplemousse, bitch.

Born and raised in Utah, Kimball got the short end of the stick when his LDS church sent him on a mission… to Salt Lake City.

Beating depression with George, Kimball started working on another passion of his – cooking meatball alfredo subs (this is him, but not his hand).

Is he allergic to homemade tomato sauce and confetti?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Being a retired professional driver, Alex sounds like someone who’s pretty cool.

But then he tells you his strength is that he can point out any car’s make or model.

And we’re like… Hold up.

Who can’t do that?