Team

You might wonder why Graham looks like an innocent millennial who was born in St. Louis, Missouri, moved to Denver, and then moved to Orange County, CA, right?

We wondered the same thing – but those looks truly deceive.

What you don’t know is that Graham was the lead singer of screamo band, “The Brothers”, and made a smash hit with Daniel and Cameron that topped the Billboard 100 in Kyrgyzstan.

So what’s he doing now?

Saving up for these sick New Balances with VELCRO® straps.

Some say Tyler looks like Anthony Hopkins, but we say he looks like that guy riding a horse with no saddle (you know, the jeans and no shirt guy).

When he’s not on a horse, he hangs with his Siberian Husky named Luna, which means “moon” in Latin – which is also the distance of the high she gets from eating all the ping pong balls in the office.

But enough about Tyler, his brother’s wife is a YouTube make-up celebrity named Arlyne Sanjines.

Being the office DJ and production artist, Dalton has a second and more lucrative gig being the official Costco Kirkland Shampoo & Conditioner spokesperson (for their clinical trials – he’s done around 72 tests).

But when we do have him in the office, you’ll find him taking solo tequila shots – especially if it’s a rough day or a good day. And that makes us all happy.

When he’s not testing new products or being at the office, you’ll find him teaching our CEO how to kick flip.

It’s been a long journey, and we’re nowhere close to having Johnathan land the kick flip, and our sales are taking a hit with the distraction.

We’re not sure if he was hired for kick flipping or actual work – still trying to understand.

If someone is reading this, please help.

As a former elite high school volleyball player, you’d think that Harrison likes all things that are round and bouncy. But that’s not always the case.

See, Harrison’s guilty pleasure is watching River Monsters on every first date – and that’s mainly why he’s never gone on a second date.

But don’t let the stylish watch fool you – he spends all his money on Fortnite tutorials and recently asked Johnathan to upgrade his computer storage because he’s about to make it big on Twitch.

#Doubt

It’s not often you find a person doing goat yoga while having Hot Cheeto™ fingers.

But then again, it’s not often that you find a person who eats string cheese in bites while binge watching doomsday preppers on YouTube.

Who is that person you ask?

It’s Marcelle.

Marcelle, the girl who has a guys’ name that’s been to 19 different countries inside the game of Grand Theft Auto.

Nick has played for as many baseball teams as the amount of gold chains he wears around his New Jerseyan neck.

Don’t believe us?

You can see him here, here, here, here, here, here, here, aaaaand here.

Now, he’s just burly AF and works on his forearms for about 83 minutes/day (Monday through Thursday).

Impressed?

You shouldn’t be. The guy has 21 fleece Patagonia pullovers that are all identical.

Johnathan is a PPC lover and conversion rate fighter, spending most of his time in the trenches.

He’s an international speaker, who’s also a little too obsessed with Pellegrino sparkling water (something that he buys by the pallet at Costco).

He thinks he’s famous, but we write him reality checks every day.

If there’s a person you’d want to have on your gameshow team, it’s Michael.

For a guy that knows too many useless and random facts, Michael takes the cake.

But he also takes the ice cream. Because as a child, he used to rob the freezer and hide behind the door, hoping no one would catch him.

Today, he helps the design team with production, while sometimes touching his own butt (as you can see in this picture).

There’s a dark secret that Reese doesn’t share with many people – He’s addicted to Olive Garden’s Fettuccine Alfredo.

His second dark secret is that he can spell “fettuccine” backwards, blindfolded, while hand standing on lego blocks.

His third darkest secret is that he once had a fauxhawk (this was him) – Yes, he was caucasian once.

Lastly, and this is no dark secret (he makes it very known) – he’s the world’s leading archivist of DJ Khaled Snapchat screenshots. He once wrote a novel. And he runs his own PPC podcast.

Gahdamn you busy Poppa Reese!

Beavis is the type of guy that makes other guys look bad.

Other guys have a hard time just working out, but Beavis sports the strongest forehead on the planet (just look at that vein action).

But buffness aside, he’s an avid collector of board games and currently owns 2-3 pieces of leather clothing.

P.S. Here’s his secret forehead workout.

Maleri has never lost a race.

Not this one, this one, this one, and she definitely won’t be losing this one (the old man is a representation of how Maleri will run when she’s older).

But when she’s not running, she’s eating peanut butter and jumping over fires during the Persian New Year to burn away her sins.

This is where she makes the very smart (and very conscious) decision to not fart at the same time.

Only because she wants to come home alive to her husband and two huskies.

There’s a really good chance you’ve seen Cameron before.

In your rear-view mirror, because his Subaru STI is too slow to pass anyone. And if anyone drives 1 MPH above the speed limit, then he’ll pull to the side and let you pass.

Now before joining KlientBoost, he worked at Nespresso and was pumped with caffeine for about eight years.

Why?

Because he still DJs at children birthday parties that end around 8 PM on the weekends (real footage from one of his gigs).

As the second Italian Nick at the office, Maglietta doubles as a closet magician – and has promised to give his services at a discount for every holiday party we have.

If betting on sports while drinking Diet Coke® was a sport, Nick would probably be the best in the office.

But we keep telling him it’s not that impressive.

Do what Charlie does, and we can talk.

In his spare time, Nick loves a good shirt that actually fits him.

For someone born in 13th century Europe, Matt is impressively skilled in modern day ping pong duels against Richard.

Once a victory is achieved, Matt enjoys cracking up a cold Coors Latté and kicking up his braies on the table while looking at the Medieval Times calendar for new events to attend.

Traveling all the way from ice cold Lake Michigan by rollerblades, Matt is an overly optimistic swimmer who once saved someone from drowning.

Today, he’s the official KlientBoost lifeguard, overseeing the aquatic activities of Yesenia and Conor.

*Matt was the second Matt hired

Have you ever known someone who’s really good at painting pictures, like, figuratively?

That’s Mitchell, the Mitch Buchanan of saving PPC accounts from their un-optimized death.

He can also run a “semi” 4-minute mile while licking his own elbow.

We’ve seen’t it.

Worst thing though? Mitchell loves to tell riddles that he doesn’t know the answers to.

If you take a close look. Like, a really close look.

Then you’ll notice the shine and sheen of Michael’s luscious locks.

Why are they so luscious? The secret lies within his mom & dad owning their own beauty salon.

Or maybe it’s his greasy hair from the lack of showering because he’s addicted to Pokémon?

We’ll never know.

Okay, this is kind of awkward.

We’ve told Melissa repeatedly that we’re not a model agency, but a PPC agency – yet she keeps ignoring us.

Is she here for the right reasons? We’re not sure. But her Disney-esque singing and dancing has us all entertained, especially when Dave (our in-house realtor) joins her as well.

She tries to tell us that she’s an adrenaline junkie by showing us her jellyfish scars, but who the F has jellyfish scars?!

Oh, and she says she can beat you at a whistling contest.

Great job @teephams

Jason Smith will throw you for a loop.

Think that his name means he’s American?
He’s British.

Think that his denim jacket means he can’t do any push ups?
He does one-fingered ones.

Think that because he doesn’t tuck his shirt in that he’s fat?
He hasn’t had sugar for seven years.

Think he has a well balanced diet?
He doesn’t – he eats yams everyday.

Think that he wishes he was as cool as Jason Statham?
He actually does.

And no, he’s not 7’6″ – we just wrote him a long bio.

Austin Spikes sounds like a super hero name, not some green leprechaun that works at an office.

Think he’s not a leprechaun? 

Then how do you explain the pot of gold he eats every night that he calls ice cream?

Or the fact that he puts hot sauce on everything, included his red facial hair?

Some things just don’t add up, especially when he says he’s a brunette.

You don’t look like a lady to us, Austin.

This is Tiffany.

But remove the shower and replace it with a bar and a serious karaoke setup.

For someone who wanted to be a zookeeper, then a vet, and then a designer, we’re pretty sure we got Tiffany to join our squad at just the right time.

Truth is, when you get someone who can design and sing like she can, you know you have conversion unicorn.

Born and raised in Utah, Kimball got the short end of the stick when his LDS church sent him on a mission… to Salt Lake City.

Not to be discouraged and not far from home (he literally lived two blocks down), Kimball started working on another passion of his – cooking meatball alfredo subs with homemade french fries (this is him, but not his hand).

Has he opened his own restaurant yet?

Of course not.

He’s sprinkling some seasoning on PPC accounts instead.

It’s not everyday that you find someone who has ancestors that brought oranges to California.

Or someone who’s a baller at calligraphy.

That’s Chelsea, a 5 year PPC veteran who likes to live dangerously by experimenting with different types of Lattés.

She looks sweet, but if you let her loose at Target, things might get a little cray.