The Agency That Sets The Marketing Bar
& Continues To Raise It

Founder of Hot Stone Massage, Inc (aka HSM), Stone spends 37% of his working day simply rubbing people at the office.

And as we thought he couldn’t be more entrepreneurial, he secures an influencer deal with Pantene.

He’s deathly afraid of confetti though.

Megan is really good at live tweeting during award shows.

Despite having the same follower count as Yasmine, Megan still continues to impress her mom who’s quickly ready with liking anything she tweets.

Where did she get the confidence from, you ask?

At the bottom of all her spicy happy hour margaritas.

For someone who has never gotten a minute of playing time in any sport, we have no clue how Justin got the confidence he has.

He wanted us to write that diamonds are made under pressure.

But we’ve seen his paycheck and know he can’t afford a diamond.

So we’re gonna leave that part out.

Dalton has hit some rough patches lately.

– Kid’s birthday parties that he used to DJ for have been shut down due to COVID-19.
– He paid $120 for a $24 box of Omaha Steaks (without any potato gratin).
– Stone stopped giving free Pantene Pro-V samples to him.

And to top it all off, his GoFundMe was featured on RuinMyWeek.com, only to be beat by the girl trying to raise money to remove her forehead tattoo.

#PrayersUp

Jenn once planned our Christmas party on a boat, later to pass out at 6:32 PM on a chair due to intoxication.

Of course we took a picture of that (which we can’t find) and had the entire company sign a “Get Well Soon” card the next day.

We should be nice to her though.

It’s not easy being a previous Green Bay Packers linebacker who retired and joined KB because of a knee injury.

Vincent: “Knock knock”

KlientBoost: “Who’s there?”

Vincent: “The Jay-Z of Digital Marketing”

KlientBoost: “Who?”

Vincent: “The Jay-Z of….”

KlientBoost: “Cares?”

Quinten called the cops when he was five because HE said a bad word.

Now walking around looking like a less-attractive version of Shawn Mendes, at least he knows completely useless facts.

Like how chicken tendies are made.

Guys, how did he end up at KB?

Kyle is your typical, basic white dude

We mean, his name is Kyle, c’mon now.

Loves “ice cold IPA’s, weekend golf, fantasy football”

Enough with your bulls***, Kyle.

Tell the world about your OnlyFans page.

Devyn tells us she would sacrifice one of her fingers to be on Ghost Adventures with Zach Bagans.

We told her that Aaron could hook it up with his extra one so Devyn can keep all hers.

She also says she can walk on water if her foot is simultaneously touching seaweed.

Okay, Jesus.

You know the type of person who’s extremely athletic and everything just comes natural to them?

That’s not Chris.

Okay, but do you know that type of person who knows everything about sports and is super into fantasy sports too?

That’s also not Chris.

Haha, ya…

Maleri always runs and has never lost a race.

Actually that’s not true – she lost this one running against herself.

But when she’s not running, she’s eating peanut butter and jumping over fires during the Persian New Year to burn away her sins.

This is where she makes the very smart (and very conscious) decision to not fart at the same time.

When Jordan was ten years old, her tooth got knocked out while playing soccer – coach still made her play the rest of the game (swag).

She says her name is Jordan “Kaatz” because she’s always ready to “pounce”.

After she told us that, we were like.

We had to give her a subscription to Ancestry.com to show her family tree and explain how last names work.

Equipped with the best headphones on the market, Chad has embarked on a SoundCloud rapping career (no, literally).

This is what he looks like when you give him a smaller compliment.

This is what he looks like when you give him a bigger compliment.

He also performed “Ice Ice Baby” in 6th grade and once offered $2,000 for a domain.

For someone who competes nationwide in armored MMA, Nick is incredibly sweet.

You wouldn’t think that someone teaching a medieval swordsmanship class also knows how to give the best hugs, but that’s Nick.

What else can we tell you about him?

Confetti is his achilles heel.

Two for flinching, Loomis.

This isn’t Ally’s first rodeo.

She’ll let you know she’s from Texas within 3.7 seconds of meeting her.

She told us she placed top 10 in five Spartan races. We later found out that was a lie.

Now that she’s an adult (and obviously not athletic), she has decided to retire, listening to Michael Buble’s Christmas album year round while eating burnt bacon.

All of Mitch’s personality is in a beer bottle.

Just how Moose is partially made of olive oil, 57% of Mitch’s DNA is yeast, crying in the shower, and a sprinkle of insomnia.

How is he still effective at his job?

He got everyone addicted to say “Beep Boop” at the office & now we can’t stop.

P.S. His mom thinks Johnathan is cute.

We asked if we could call Jonathan our “Director of Cash/Money“, but he wasn’t with it.

He says he likes WAP.

Warm, Affectionate, and Passionate people.

Good thing he works with the most empathetic person on our team, Richard.

Being 42 years old, Melissa still drinks hot chocolate like it’s her job (double fisting).

Maybe that’s why she had to get all 10 teeth pulled at once?

Cavities obviously didn’t teach her anything.

What else?

Oh! She wears heels when going to McDonald’s.

Casey’s the kind of psycho that honks at other cars for fun.

Being the leader of KlientBoost’s Boy Band, BoostyBoyz, Casey has a hard time escaping the limelight.

Does he want to escape it?

No, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to convince you to eat a rock.

Growing up in the poor streets of the Czech Republic, Shelby came to the US determined to be a pro baller.

She quickly found out that ball isn’t life, but instead that Czech meatballs are.

Now that hoops dreams are off the table, she tells us that she aspires to have as much drip as an A$AP Rocky Babushka.

But we hate to tell her that her salary might only allow her to look like a true babushka (with no dental insurance either. Gotta stay on brand).

You’ve never met a more American person than Courtney.

She got her first boyfriend using the pick up line: “On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?“

And if driving with the top off your Jeep, blasting Taylor Swift, and eating Freedom Fries doesn’t immediately make you want to pet your bald eagle, then can you really call yourself a patriot?

Also, her shower curtain is the Declaration of Independence.

Tiffany doesn’t give a f*** about what you think.

Not happy with the designs? Does it look like she cares?
Got a request? She’s already celebrating happy hour.

How is she such a bad ass?

We think it has something to do with 60% of her body not being water, but La Croix instead.

Pamplemousse, bitch.

For someone who’s insanely awkward, Lauren is insanely funny (sometimes).

She’s that quiet/weird type that just knows the perfect roast, but also holds back out of fear because the person might cry.

She says that she swam at the olympic trials, but we found evidence that wasn’t the case.

With a first name that was popular in the 1920s, Susy doesn’t let the haters stop her.

Bordering her 5th diagnosis of skin cancer because of her unhealthy love of the outdoors, Susy is surprisingly not a Patagonia rewards member.

But wanna know what is surprising about her?

Her felt hat shopping obsession started the global cardboard shortage.

You know that woman from Friend’s who has the obnoxious laugh?

Her name is Janice, and that wasn’t her actual laugh.

It was Jamie’s.

But we’ll give her a pass since she once bought Jason Momoa a beer at Portland’s airport.

Give Tori a subscription to anything viewable and you’ll be sure to:
1) Never see her again
2) Hear about what she saw
3) Watch the next episode with her

Known for her sub-par cooking skills, Tori attempts to channel her inner KlientBoost legend skills of Guy Fieri.

If you ask her how anything tastes, she instantly (and in a disappointing way) responds with this GIF.

Brian likes to start conversations by saying he’s really good at finishing three sides of a Rubik’s Cube.

Your brain makes you think that’s 75% of a cube, but that’s only, like, half-way.

Also, he cannot not start eating his dinner take-out while driving.

Which also mostly consists of Subway chocolate chip cookies.

Call him old fashioned, but Jaime’s guiltiest pleasures is taking photos.

Photos of what you ask? 

We don’t ask those kinds of questions.

He says he’s had a NFC chip implant once, but he won’t tell us where it was on his body or what it did.

We’ll figure this out and report back.